If you know me, then you know there is nothing that I enjoy more than finding childish names to use in place of penis. Rather than having to manually find and replace penis throughout my game code and bake in variations, I can let the game decide on it's own at run time. I've scoured all of the internets and assembled a nice penis word bank. It is my privilege to share these items below:
(ps, yes there are an unlimited amount of better things I could be doing with my time)
:: fill, penis [rule($display == enum.penis)]
[any(random), "100% all-beef thermometer", "ankle spanker", "arbor vitae", "baby arm", "baby maker", "bald-headed yogurt slinger", "baloney baton", "baloney pony", "banana", "beaver basher", "beaver cleaver", "beef bayonet", "beef whistle", "bell on a pole", "best friend", "blue-vein sausage", "bologna pony", "boom stick", "braciole", "bratwurst", "cack", "candle", "chap", "chopper", "cock", "cock rocket", "corn dog", "cranny axe", "credentials", "cut", "d", "d train", "d-train", "dangler", "dick", "dicktator", "ding dong", "ding dong mcdork", "dingis", "dingus", "dipstick", "disco stick", "doder", "doinker", "domepiece", "dork", "drum stick", "dude piston", "e-peen", "easy rider", "energizer bunny", "evesdropper", "falo", "fang", "ferret", "foto", "fun stick", "generating tool", "gigi", "groin ferret", "hairy hotdog", "hog", "hotdog", "impudence", "it", "jack-in-the-box", "jackhammer", "jimber", "joystick", "junk", "jurassic pork", "kickstand", "kielbasa", "knob", "lap rocket", "lingam", "lizard", "magic stick", "main vein", "male organ", "man meat", "man muscle", "man umbrella", "man's best friend", "manhood", "master of ceremonies", "matrimonial peacemaker", "mayo shooting hotdog gun", "meat injection", "meat popsicle", "meat puppet", "meat stick", "meat thermometer", "meatsicle", "member", "microphone", "middle girth", "mutton", "mutton dagger", "netherrod", "one eyed willy", "one-eyed wonder weasel", "one-eyed yogurt slinger", "p", "package", "packer", "patz", "peen", "peeper", "penis", "penis sangbo nam rod", "ph.d", "phallus", "pickle", "piece", "pink oboe", "pink torpedo", "pink tractor beam", "pipecleaner", "plonker", "plug", "pnor", "poinswatter", "polaroid", "pop a chub", "porridge gun", "prick", "princess sophia", "private eye", "private part", "pud", "pudding", "putz", "rabo", "ramburglar", "roundhead", "salamander", "sex", "schlort", "schmuck", "schnitzel", "schwanz", "schwartz", "schwarz", "sconge", "shmuck", "shvantz", "silent flute", "single barrelled pump action bollock yogurt shotgun", "skin flute", "slit-eyed demon", "soldier", "spam javelin", "spawn hammer", "spout", "steamin' semen roadway", "steamin’ semen truck", "stick shift", "sub", "surfboard", "taco warmer", "tally whacker", "tallywacker", "tallywhacker", "tan banana", "tassle", "tent pole", "thing", "thumper", "tinker", "todger", "tonk", "tool", "tripod", "trouser meat", "trouser trout", "tube steak", "tubesteak", "tummy banana", "tuna torpedo", "unit", "vagina miner", "vein", "verga", "wanger", "wanker", "wankie", "wedding tackle", "wedding wrecker", "weiner", "whiskey dick", "who who dilly", "whoopie stick", "wiener", "wing dang doodle", "yogurt gun", "yogurt slinger", "yoo-hoo", "zubra"]
:: fill, named penis [rule($display == enum.penisName)]
[any(random), "Adolph", "Bishop", "Bob Dole", "Bobby Dangler", "Bone Ranger", "Captain", "Captain Winky", "Don Cypriano", "Dora The Explorer", "Excalibur", "Froto", "Harry Johnson", "Jimmy", "John", "John Thomas", "Johnson", "Just-in-beaver", "King Sebastian", "Krull The Warrior King", "Long Dong Silver", "Luigi", "Master John Goodfellow", "Mr. Happy", "Mr. Knish", "Mr. Peaslin", "Mr. Sniffles", "Mr. Winky", "Muff Marauder", "Ol' One Eye", "Old Boy", "Old Fellow", "Old Man", "Ole One Eye", "Pedro", "Percy", "Peter", "Pied Piper", "Pinnochio", "Popeye", "Puff The One-eyed Dragon", "Russell The Love Muscle", "Seabiscuit", "Tiny Tim", "Uncle Dick", "Uncle Reamus", "Vlad The Impaler", "Wang", "Wiener Schnitzel", "Willie", "Willy", "Woody Womb Pecker", "Gentleman Usher"]
:: fill, dirty penis [rule($display == enum.penisDirty)]
[any(random), "aids baster", "anal impaler", "butt burglar", "cervix crusader", "clam hammer", "cornholer", "crotch vomiter", "cum gun", "custard launcher", "fart hammer", "fuck rod", "fuck stick", "fudge sickle", "gash mallet", "giggle stick", "gut wrench", "ho wrecker", "kidney scraper", "piss weasel", "sludge pump", "snot rocket", "stinky pickle", "tonsil tickler", "vomit rod", "weapon of ass destruction", "womb broom", "womb ferret", "womb raider", "whore thermometer"]
:: fill, small penis [rule($display == enum.penisSmall)]
[any(random), "bud", "dick smalls", "dickie", "diddle", "ding", "ding a ling", "ding-a-ling", "dingaling", "dink", "dinky", "lincoln log", "little Alex", "little Bob", "little chubby", "little Elvis", "little solider", "maypole", "needle dick", "noodle", "pecker", "pee pee", "peepee", "peeter", "pencil dick", "schlittle", "schmeckel", "schmeckle", "shlittle", "short arm", "shrinkage", "teeny weenie", "tootsie roll", "twig", "twig (and berries)", "twig and berries", "twinkie", "wang doodle", "wee", "wee wee", "weenie", "wick", "goofy goober", "dagger", "dinker", "winkie", "winky", "worm"]
:: fill, big penis [rule($display == enum.penisBig)]
[any(random), "alabama black snake", "anaconda", "bat", "bed snake", "big italian salami", "club", "cyprian scepter", "divine rod", "dong", "electric eel", "flesh tower", "giant redwood", "horse cock", "hose", "hung", "leaky hose", "long dong", "longfellow", "magic wand", "meat constrictor", "meat scepter", "meat sword", "meter long king kong dong", "middle leg", "middle stump", "monster", "one eyed monster", "one eyed snake", "one-eyed anaconda", "one-eyed monster", "one-eyed snake", "one-eyed trouser-snake", "pole", "salami", "sausage", "schlong", "schlong dongadoodle", "sea monster", "sebastianic sword", "shaft", "shlong", "spitting cobra", "staff", "staff of life", "third leg", "third leg of the tripod", "thundersword", "trouser snake", "tube snake", "veinous maximus", "wand", "rod", "rod of pleasure", "deep-V diver", "digger", "donger", "fire hose", "hanging meat", "moisture and heat seeking venomous throbbing python of love"]
:: fill, erection [rule($display == enum.erection)]
[any(random), "artful throbber", "bone", "boner", "broner", "chub", "erection", "chubbie", "chubby", "hard on", "hard-on", "love muscle", "love rod", "love shaft", "love stick", "love whistle", "piston", "pleasure pump", "pocket rocket", "power drill", "quiver bone", "stiffie", "stiffy", "throbber", "wood", "heat-seeking love missile", "heat-seeking moisture missile"]
:: fill, package [rule($display == enum.package)]
[any(random), "big dick and the twins", "general and two colonels", "groin", "rule of three", "thunderbird 3", "package", "sex", "privates"]
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